Film Noir Short Film Treatment
Title: A Not So Happy Anniversary
Producer: Nick Medina
Genre: Film Noir
Log Line: A boyfriend goes crazy and kills his girlfriend after he discovers that she was cheating on him.
Treatment:
The boyfriend, Tony, and girlfriend are hanging out together at the boyfriend’s house on a Friday night. They are sitting on the couch watching TV. They are having fun and giggling with each other. Then they begin to talk about their senior prom. The girl is excited and tells the boy how she can’t wait to get her dress and pick out his tux with him. The boy then kisses her. She leans on him and they fall asleep on the couch together.
The next day the boyfriend calls his girlfriend. He asks her if she wants to go out to dinner with him that night. She replies that she can’t be with him because she is grounded. The boy loves his girlfriend so he doesn’t question her. He leaves his house and drives away.
The boy is hanging out with three of his friends at Anthony's house. His friends are Matt, Nigel, and Anthony. They talk about who they think is going to win the World Series. They argue between the Yankees and the Phillies. Then they begin to talk about the hottest girls in school. Matt makes fun of the boy’s girlfriend. They then talk about a party they are going to that night. They talk about how drunk they are going to get. Tony says he can’t because he is going to surprise his girlfriend that night for their one-year anniversary.
When it gets dark, the boy leaves his friend’s house. He goes to pick up flowers. He then drives to his girlfriend’s house. He turns onto the street where she lives and sees her car out in front. He gets out of the car and slowly walks to the front door. He opens the door, as it is unlocked. He creeps into the house searching for his girlfriend. All the lights are off.
The boy enters the living room and turns on the lights. He sees his girlfriend with Matt. The boyfriend immediately drops the flowers at his feet. The boyfriend races over to Matt and picks him off of the couch and punches him. The girlfriend screams. They get in a fight and both fall into the lamp, knocking out the light. Matt is unconscious on the floor as the boyfriend rises up from behind the couch. He slowly walks towards his girlfriend and picks up a metal decoration on the mantle. The girlfriend is unable to cry for help. The camera cuts back and forth between the two. The girl backs up until she reaches the wall. The boy walks up to girl and begins to hit her with the statuette. From a worm’s eye view, we see the girl fall on the floor with blood on her head. She is dead. The boy leaves the house and drives away into the distance.
Posts
I think your treatment is good but I didn't feel that you touched on the film noir style until the end. I feel like maybe he should be somewhat suspicious of her or suspicious of Matt. The ending is really strong, though. It encompasses several film noir aspects such as femme fatale and betrayal. I think by incorporating more cynicism at the beginning of the treatment would make it even stronger.
ReplyDeleteCarmen's right. The beginning doesn't encompass any film noir aspects at all. There is really no darkness to the beginning at all. And if you combine low lighting and visual film noir aspects with the beginning of the film, it'll make the ending very obvious. I think you should change the film too Matt's point of view so it's like he is watching Tony and his girlfriend with a smug look on his face. It would add those film noir elements that you are lacking in the beginning.
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