I really feel that this is a good start. It definitely needs some work, but I really like the concept. It's very simple, and when approaching this type of project, simplicity seems to be really good for this. As for the treatment, like I said in class, just work on incorporating the split screen idea and developing the Kruschev effect more, like using more than just the hamburger as the object. Overall, it's a great start.
Hey Nick the story line was good but you need to use intercutting more because I did not feel that there was a second story to the movie and also what is you kruschev effect because the only thing that you used was a humberger so for the kruchev effect you also need to add more things for the effect.
Based on our little knowledge of the various concepts when you wrote this, I think you managed to create a pretty good story. One suggestion is what I mentioned in class; try changing it so instead of a burger, you see the boy actually going through the process of ordering the burger and beginning to eat it. Other than that, great start! (A lot better than mine was. :P )
The story is kept basic which is good for a 1-3 minute project, the treatment works well but you still need to incorporate the splitscreen and all that other stuff. I agree with what Casey said because you could use that idea either in intercutting or splitscreen to show the character's desire for the burger.
The story line flows excelently, and your video flows very well with the ideas of parallelism. Also The using of the hamburger while he is driving maybe overlayed on top, also the ideas of kulshov effect is excelent.This is probably one of the strongest possibilites for a video
Wow that was great. What you need to do though, is, cut from the car to in-n-out itself. Also have an employee walk slowly to the door with a closed sign. That would add more intercutting. Also you described the story well.
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I really feel that this is a good start. It definitely needs some work, but I really like the concept. It's very simple, and when approaching this type of project, simplicity seems to be really good for this. As for the treatment, like I said in class, just work on incorporating the split screen idea and developing the Kruschev effect more, like using more than just the hamburger as the object. Overall, it's a great start.
ReplyDeleteHey Nick the story line was good but you need to use intercutting more because I did not feel that there was a second story to the movie and also what is you kruschev effect because the only thing that you used was a humberger so for the kruchev effect you also need to add more things for the effect.
ReplyDeleteBased on our little knowledge of the various concepts when you wrote this, I think you managed to create a pretty good story. One suggestion is what I mentioned in class; try changing it so instead of a burger, you see the boy actually going through the process of ordering the burger and beginning to eat it. Other than that, great start! (A lot better than mine was. :P )
ReplyDeleteThe story is kept basic which is good for a 1-3 minute project, the treatment works well but you still need to incorporate the splitscreen and all that other stuff. I agree with what Casey said because you could use that idea either in intercutting or splitscreen to show the character's desire for the burger.
ReplyDeleteThe story line flows excelently, and your video flows very well with the ideas of parallelism. Also The using of the hamburger while he is driving maybe overlayed on top, also the ideas of kulshov effect is excelent.This is probably one of the strongest possibilites for a video
ReplyDeleteWow that was great. What you need to do though, is, cut from the car to in-n-out itself. Also have an employee walk slowly to the door with a closed sign. That would add more intercutting. Also you described the story well.
ReplyDelete